How my Brothers Changed my Relationship with Food​

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Thanks for being here today! This post is different because it’s super personal & because I have sent a similar version out to my amazing email community (you can join for free emaisl where I share my most value tips & guidance by plugging your email in the box on the righthand side of this post)! Let’s get to it….

So, my brothers are awesome. I love them and am so lucky to have such a fun relationship with them. Here’s some quick information about us:

  • My older brother is Phillip (we’re 1 year apart – he’s on the left in the picture below). Phil loves lacrosse, reading, and teaching science at his middle school.
  • My younger brother, Brett, is a free spirit who has a great sense of humor, loves camping/all things outdoors, and is an amazing artist.
  • In case you’re curious, they put up with me even though I’m impulsive, (overly) talkative, and constantly dancing around. 😉

Here they are 🙂


 So what do they have to do with food and eating intuitively?

I never thought much about THEIR relationships with food until I really started struggling. If you know my story, you know that college (3 years ago) was really where my journey with food happened (from calorie counting for quick weightloss, to obsessive dieting, to the yoyo binge cycle, to FREEDOM – click here for more on my story).

When I was starting to diet my freshman year of college, I had this thought: How come I can’t eat normally and maintain a fit body like my brothers?

They eat when they’re hungry, stop when they’re satisfied… and honestly don’t think about food much until their stomachs start to growl. Every once in a while they’ll say they’re feeling stuffed (but it’s always after a special meal they were craving and looking forward to). I’ve never heard them obsess over how they look. Instead, I often hear my older brother talk about how he wants to feel… fit, healthy, energized and so on. Both my brothers act on instinct – if they feel like running, they run. If they feel like doing yoga, they go to a class. It’s really quite simple. And quite amazing, right?

I mean it’s what (a lot – not all) people strive for. They are both fit, happy, and healthy. They eat what they want when they’re hungry and craving it, rarely going “overboard.”

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I’ve realized that there were 2 reasons I was NOT like this in for most of college (my last year was when I started making peace with food) and had to WORK to get to a relationship with food much like theirs.

Reason #1: 
Dieting messed with me. There’s no other way to put it. It messed with my confidence, my ability to listen to my body, and the way I viewed food. If I hadn’t started dieting (I wanted to lose weight as quick as possible), I wouldn’t have gone down that path to a cycle of bingeing and restricting. If I had started learning about how to listen to my body and take care of myself, I would’ve been much better off. BUT, all that being said, the past is the past – can’t change it. I’ve definitely learned from it though!

Reason # 2:
I was trying too hard. I was making things too complicated. I was stressing too much about my body and the food I was eating. Thinking back to my brothers, they keep things simple! That is the key! 

As most of you know, I talk about the importance of getting a clear picture in your mind (and writing it down) of what you want your relationship with food to look, sound, and feel like for you.

When I was working on writing down my ideal relationship with food in college (I teach about the importance of that here) I thought about my brothers. They inspired me. My ideal relationship with food goal became:

  • I eat when I’m hungry, honor my cravings, and listen to my body. I eat all foods I love in moderation most of the time. I move in a way that feels good for me, and am free of bingeing and punishing my body. I am full of energy and healthy.

So today, on this wonderful Friday, get out your journal and WRITE IT DOWN. What do you want your relationship with food to look like? Maybe it could help you to think about people who have a “normal” relationship with food that you admire. Much like I did with my brothers. Oh, and while we’re on the topic of family. Go hug yours! Show them some love today. 🙂

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Have a great of your weekend!
– Abby

 ​P.S. Never hesitate to reach out to me & schedule a free consultation! I’d love to help you find peace with food. with any questions!​


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About Eat Work Play Balanced

Abby is a certified health coach who knows how difficult it can be to get out of the diet cycle and mindset. On the Eat Work Play Balanced blog you'll find tips, strategies, and info that can help you transform your relationship with food to find balance! *Disclaimer-I am not a doctor, and do not treat or diagnose women with eating disorders.